Everybody shit’s their pants!
(And if they say they haven’t, they’re lying, or they’re due.)
It’s been a dramatic tally of days and hours since I started my whirlwind situationship with a spinal cord injury and let me tell you… the only thing that’s gotten easier is laughing at the chaos. Because honestly? There is just so. much. shit and in this case, a lot less ghosting!
Let’s break it down, shall we?
- Not knowing how your body’s going to feel from one day to the next.
Literal emotional roulette. Shit. - Rocking up to an event that swore it was accessible only to be met with three stairs and a shrug? Shit.
- Finally finding parking after three laps around the block, only to spot someone “just ducking in” parked in the disabled spot with their mum’s permit? Massive shit.
- Waking up to a full calendar, a drained energy tank, and the joyful reminder that being disabled also comes with the unpaid job title of Full-Time Educator of Able-Bodied Society™? Yep. Shit.
Oh, and did I mention I started my day by shitting my pants? Just hours before flying interstate to give a keynote on how people perceive disability.
Here’s the thing. I’ve been rolling through this life for nearly 16 years. And every few months, I hear the greatest hits on repeat:
“You’re such an inspiration.”
“You must be so proud!”
And my personal favourite: “How do you do it all?”
Well… I still don’t have an answer for that last one but yes, I’m proud. And yes, I’ve achieved a lot. I’m also completely, utterly, unapologetically fucking exhausted.
See, when I had my accident, I was just shy of 21. That magical age when your biggest worry should be whether you’ve got enough money for petrol and if that random one-night stand left you with more than just a story for the group chat. (Shoutout to the cute guy from Camp Quality, you were a delight, and I’m weirdly glad I got that moment in before I became paralysed.)
When I became a quadriplegic, I knew things would change. What I didn’t expect was that once I clawed my way through five years of grief, identity crisis, settling for shit relationships, unfriending flaky people who only invited me out if they needed inspo for their assignment… I’d finally get my groove back.
And when I did? I went full main character energy.
I stopped waiting for a “happy ending” and started building my own plot twist, one wheelchair wheel squeak at a time.
Sure, it’s messy. Sure, it’s tiring. Sure, sometimes I just want to scream into a pillow made of government paperwork and NDIS admin.
But I’m here. And I’m not just surviving—I’m rewriting the rules, giggling at the chaos, and proving you can shit your pants and still show up like the badass legend you are.
(With a spare pair of pants in the boot, obviously. Don’t be a rookie.)
I’m living, not because I have to, but because I bloody want to.
Between the soiled PJs, the flat tyres, and the emotionally constipated exes, I want to lay my head on the pillow each night knowing I gave the day everything I had.
Although now that I think about it, that might actually be why I’m so tired…
Or maybe it’s my ADHD brain that insists on keeping me awake wondering whether I replied to that text from three days ago, or brainstorming what new project I can launch next.
(And yes—on this particular occasion, it was a blog called “Everyone Shits Their Pants.” You’re welcome.)
Now, if you’re asking, “why a blog?” Well, that’s one question I can answer without spiralling into an existential crisis.
Because I. LOVE. CARRIE. BRADSHAW.
And to clarify I don’t just love her. I love the fantasy.
The whole New York apartment, chain-smoking in knickers, typing out soul revelations with fabulous hair? ICONIC. (Minus the darts. Those days are done for me.)
Fun fact: Carrie was 38 in the final episode of Sex and the City, and I’m 36 as I write this—so I guess I’m firmly in my Aiden era.
And unlike Carrie, I’ve made enough crap choices to know I am absolutely not choosing BIG. If you know, you know.
Also: I have stood on Carrie’s actual stoop… with one of said bad choices in tow (a boy, not a man).
So yes, I’m manifesting a do-over. Next time, I’m bringing my own Aiden but in this season his name is Benny, and there are some solid boundaries.
Anyway—I digress.
I’m writing this blog because I miss writing.
Because sometimes I don’t want to film a video or slap on makeup or think too hard about content.
I just want to let the words spill out, raw, real, a little chaotic, kind of like me.
And no, I’m not journaling anymore. I KNOW it’s good for you. Blah blah blah.
So is matcha, apparently, but you don’t see me ditching my Grande Salted Caramel Latte with oat milk (two pumps, not three—less sweat, more flavour).
In case you were wondering what to shout me after reading this blog, that’s the order. And no, I’m not switching to grassy pond water. Let me live.
No amount of strawberry syrup is going to make matcha taste good.
Let’s be honest, it’s just a grass-flavoured milkshake pretending to be a personality trait.
But really, I don’t want to journal every day like you’re supposed to, because I’m tired.
I don’t need another task on the never-ending self-care to-do list.
I want to write when I feel inspired.
Or when I’m deep in one of those overstimulated hibernation phases—where I can’t deal with people, but will happily watch three hours of YouTubers romanticising their morning routines while selling me crafts I’ll never open and puzzles that look peaceful but feel like punishment.
(No shade though—respect to the content creator kings and queens! That stuff’s hard work.)
Also, let’s be real: I’m writing a blog because despite my best efforts, I cannot summon the brain juice, time, or attention span to write a full-blown book.
And apparently, when you’ve lived through some wild shit and have something to say, the logical next step is “write a memoir.”
Well, here’s my plot twist: it’s going to be a blog instead.
Quick, dirty, cathartic. Much like my mid-2000s dating history.
And in classic “this is my life” fashion, the very moment I cracked open my laptop and started typing again just happened to be exactly two months before I return to the place where my whole life flipped on its head…
…And, a few hours earlier, I shit my pants.
The timing? Impeccable. The symbolism? Chef’s kiss!
Your bedroom should be your sanctuary, your little haven away from the craziness that is the world. Where you can recharge your batteries, connect with the person that’s most important to you and reconnect with your own spirit!
Whenever you read a good book, somewhere in the world a door opens to allow in more light.
–Vera Nazarian
The Base Collective makes genuine no nasties Magnesium based skincare and wellness products, but their more than just that.
Melbourne based duo Carly Pountney and Cassie Sanghvi are the founders of The Base Collective, a new lifestyle brand that focuses on offering a wide range of no nasty skincare products that make you feel good from the inside out.
It’s that time of year again when us Melbournians rug up, slap on our high vision t-shirts and join the 38 other countries across the globe in the greatest race in the world, the Wings for Life World Run!
Emma Mildon is the girl-next-door millennial mystic, charged with creating a movement of conscious action in the world.
Crowned by the Huffington Post as “a true millennial mystic leader”, she is a spiritual activist and the international bestselling author of her book The Soul Searcher’s Handbook now available in six languages.
Emma’s passion and enthusiasm is infectious. Through her work as a philanthropist, columnist, speaker and the hostess of powerful new moon gatherings each month, Emma educates, inspires and holds space for people who are committed to taking balanced, conscious action toward global healing.
Emma second and upcoming book The Evolution of Goddess set to activate her already awakened audiences.
Overhauling my health during the last 8 years has been far easier then I ever imagined considering I grew up in a house hold full of low fat products with the running joke being that no one in my family could understand why we were so unhealthy given everything we ate was fat free!
Little did I know that while we were taking the low fat option, all of the foods we put into our mouth were loaded with sugar and preservatives and this was in fact why we were overweight and quite lethargic. Our bodies were not receiving the nutrients they needed to thrive and until I was forced by injury to realise just how important whole foods and a sugar free lifestyle were, I couldn’t fathom how something could be sweet without actually being sweetened by sugar. (more…)
At the beginning of the year I set my self a challenge, to try new things, meet new people and expand my culinary horizons! This sounds simple, right? But for me, a women of habit and one not so easily persuaded it was tricky.
So I pumped up my tires (wheelie term), and on the 1st of January prepared to dip my heart and soul into new things that lit up my life and fixed a consistent smile to my face.
Allow me to introduce you to what has set my soul on fire this year. (more…)
Smudging is the common name given to the indigenous American tradition known as the Sacred Smoke Bowl Blessing. This is a powerful spiritual cleansing technique which calls upon the spirits of various sacred plants to drive away negative energy and to restore balance to an individual, a group, a space, or all three.
This tradition has been a part of the spirituality of indigenous Americans for thousands of years, and now this cleansing ritual is available to anyone who is willing to give it a try. The ritual is very simple and very empowering, and you don’t need a lot of expensive equipment to start doing it in your own home.
The start of a New Year brings us the opportunity to set new goals, intentions and of course make new wishes. It is a great time to pause and reflect and enable us to recall on any lessons learned from the past year, check off any goals we have accomplished, and start the first chapter of the year ahead.
Personally, I have many goals, or bucket list items to check off in 2018 and to ensure these things don’t get overlooked here are a few fun little spiritual activities that will allow me to consistently manifest my way through what I hope to be an adventurist new year! Bring on the year of the dog!
(more…)
I have attempted to write this post many times, but it’s never really felt like “the right time”. I would start typing away and then I’d read it over and think to myself, “really?” as my problems feel so mundane compared to other things going on in the world. 2017, has been a year of huge accomplishments and it feels like I blinked and the supercharged year is almost over.
